Roberta and Marc's Sweet Wedding at St. Mark's Chapel!

Roberta and Marc and I had so much fun co--creating their sweet wedding ceremony. It truly reflected the two of them. We initially met last August to plan their wedding for May 20, 2012 at the historic St. Mark's Chapel, the dearest little non-denominational chapel on the Mordecai Historic Park campus in downtown Raleigh. The property is owned by the City of Raleigh Parks and Recreation Department and is a jewel of a place to get married. Roberta contacted me because she had been a bridesmaid in one of my weddings in 2006 and knew that she wanted a very personalized meaningful ceremony which she knew is my specialty. So, once the paperwork was done, we went about crafting their ceremony including their love story, what they loved about each other, why they wanted to marry and what they were looking forward to in marriage.

When Marty and I arrived for this wedding, it was a gorgeous day and the chapel was decked out with flowers, even on the rustic old pews. I don't know if they used a florist or did these themselves.

There was a great photo of Marc and Roberta on display! 

The reception was at Caffe Luna so the guests parked there then were transported to and from the chapel by Dolly The Raleigh Trolley which can be rented out for private events--a great idea! 

The chapel filled up quickly and then we were ready to begin the ceremony.

Roberta was hidden away in the old Post Office building nearby and her friend Beth was our director getting everyone inside at just the right time. Roberta entered the chapel and Marc met her halfway down the aisle and escorted her the rest of the way to the altar. The music for the processional was provided by Marc's stepfather Frank who was stationed up in the loft overlooking the chapel.

As they stood and faced their guests, I welcomed everyone.  

Their friend Tara read "Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog" by Taylor Mali and dedicated it to their multi-species home and especially to Marc's rambunctious dog, Diesel!

Their story is a good one. "Roberta told me that before they met in November of 2008 she was quite happy being a single woman and cat lady, so much so that she decided to buy a home on her own. She and her friend Amanda toured the home she was destined to buy and just after she signed on the dotted line, her intuitive friend said, “Now you’ll meet someone.” And, voila, 6 days later Marc appeared on her radar screen." Theirs was truly a match made in heaven and it did not take them long to realize that and become a couple. 

 Let's put the ring on the left hand, okay? 

Their kiss is a blur, but I had to put it in!  

 

 

Our photographers, Rebecca and Tim, with Red Fern Photography were busy arranging all the guests on the front steps for a group photo before they headed over to Caffe Luna for the reception.

Roberta and Marc, what a super sweet and poignant wedding! You made your vision come true and now you are married. I know you are so happy! My best wishes for you forever!

Jump the Broom and Say, "Mazel Tov!": How Interracial Couples Can Create Fantastic 'Fusion' Weddings

This interesting article by Christelyn Karazin appeared today in the Huffington Post Weddings Blog and I thought I would share it here. Go here to see the original article and photos. I think that a new term "Fusion Weddings" has been coined!

Interracial couplings are at their highest levels in American history, with new Census data revealing that 1 in 10 married couples are mixed. People are merging race, culture and religion to create a fusion of something different and new. But when it comes to the point where marriage -- and particularly the wedding ceremony -- is seriously discussed, that fusion can quickly become a culture clash as parents and other family members protest and lobby for their particular traditions to be honored during the festivities.

Ten years ago when it was my turn to walk down the aisle, my mother pestered me for months to "jump the broom," an African American tradition that originated during slavery to signify a man and woman crossing over a threshold and into a new life together. Before I could say yay or nay, she had a fru-fru looking broom suitable for Cinderella's castle clutched in her hands and ready to pass to the wedding coordinator.

Once my husband's family recovered from the mild shock of welcoming the first black Karazin since their family crest was established in Estonia circa 1348, my in-laws only requested that we go through the candle-lighting ceremony, and mainstay in the Catholic religion. I fretted about whether or not our nuptial hodgepodge would satisfy both my parents and in-laws up to the day I said "I do."

The Potential Chaos of a 'Family Fusion'

The stressful part interracial and intercultural weddings is often the family, says Kristin Koch, senior editor of WeddingChannel.com. Parents often feel like they are losing their child to someone else and deviating from religion or culture and that can feel like a rejection. "Give it time. Let the parents get used to the idea of your partner. Be honest from the start about how you wish to have the ceremony, and don't wait eight months to tell your parents that you're having a non-traditional wedding -- the longer you wait, the harder it is."

Eliss Jackson, African American, has faced hurt feelings over planning her wedding with fiance, Joseph Cucchiara, whose parents are Sicilian. His parents have expressed concerns about their son marrying a black woman, in part because they worry that their family's traditions might be erased. With all the planning, frustration and emotions running wild, Joseph bemoans, "I'll just be happy when it's over."

Fri Forjindam, founder and editorial director of Wedding Nouveau, a magazine dedicated to celebrating nuptials of fusion couples, also advises that understanding why a certain custom is important will help prioritize what to incorporate in a wedding. Eliss struggled with incorporating 'jumping the broom,' because she feared Joseph's family might not understand. But she soon found out she needed not worry -- once she explained to Joseph how important the tradition was to her, he was enthusiastic to do it, and said he would take the lead in explaining it to his parents. The couple are also planning to incorporate some traditional Italian mainstays too, like serving the Italian wedding soup. And while they aren't going to marry in a church, they opted for a winery, which Joseph deems apropos since Italians are known for their love of wine.

Create Something New

Experts recommend interracial and intercultural couples embrace their differences and get creative. "Fusion couples often decide and accept that they're not part of the norm and embrace that into their wedding themes. For interracial couples, they have no choice but to break the rules," says Forjindam.

Sehnita Joshua-Mattison, whose family hails from Pakistan, explained to her fiance, Aaron Mattison, who is white, how important is was to her that he participate in the traditional pre-wedding ceremonies like the mehndi, an ancient Indian custom in which intricate henna patterns are applied to the hands and feet of the bride and groom as an outward symbol of the family blessing the marriage. Conversely, Aaron, who was raised Catholic but wasn't practicing, insisted that the couple be married in church so that the union can be officially recognized. As a compromise, the couple got married in an Episcopalian church with two officiants -- one a Pakistani Christian minister, and the other a Catholic priest. "Aaron can be pretty cynical about religion, but I guess the Catholic is embedded in him," says Sehnita. I had the pleasure of attending Aaron and Sehnita's wedding and reception, and while the ceremony was decidedly Western, the party afterwards was the stuff of Bollywood movies.

Don't be afraid to create a hybrid ceremony based on your values. "I had a lesbian couple advocate for marriage equality by performing four worldwide wedding traditions with great respect, sending a loving message that someday, marriage equality will be the norm, and love will prevail in positive ways. They drank wine together, did a hand fasting, jumped the broom, and broke the glass all in order. It was touching and joyful," says Barbara Ann Michaels, a wedding officiant in Manhattan.

The key to a fusion wedding going off without a hitch is make sure the ceremony reflects what makes the two of you unique, and make it fun. Take Nihara Nichelle and her husband Gregory Malcolm (both biracial, with Caucasian and African American parents): they decided to confuse everyone and dress in traditional Indian wedding dress, while their wedding party wore traditional Cantonese outfits, and got married in the backyard of a cafe during cherry blossom season. They also jumped the broom and landed on a glass while saying Mozel Tov to commemorate both heritages. "Own your story and don't apologize for it." says Forjindam.

Ronda and Mark Get Married at Raleigh Country Club!

The wedding of Ronda and Mark is really special for me. Ronda and I used to work together many years ago, she moved on to a new job, and we had lost touch. So, when she called to tell me she was getting married and wanted me to officiate, I was simply thrilled! I was anxious to meet her fiance, Mark, and her children from a previous marriage, Jonathan and Julia. We met on March 15th to plan their wedding for May 20, 2012. It was short notice and I was so happy I was available. Mark agreed for me to officiate and said he "liked my style!" They were not planning a very big wedding and they wanted the children in it. They chose Raleigh Country Club, a great venue. I love doing weddings with Bonnie Miller there. She and her staff take really good care of their brides and grooms.

It was a beautiful day that Sunday. The temperature was perfect but it was a bit windy.

View of the back of the club from the ceremony site on the green. 

 

This cake was baked by Not Just Cakes and the flowers provided by Ronda's mother who did the floral decorations.

Bruce Stevenson provided the ceremony music. The photographer for the wedding was Teri Lyn out of Charlotte who was contracted to provide her services by David's Bridal. 

 When the bride's parents were seated, the guys and I entered. 

 

Julia, daughter of the bride, entered next as our flower girl. 

Jonathan escorts his beautiful mother down the aisle! 

Such a pretty vista and backdrop for a wedding. Notice the clock on the tower says 2:00. We started right on time and the clock reflects that we accomplished what we were going for -- a 20 minute ceremony.

 

Mark gave Julia a necklace to commemorate the special occasion and said some really sweet words to her. I was impressed that he flawlessly opened the tiny clasp on the first try and got the necklace on without fumbling!

Then it was Jonathan's turn. Mark said some touching words to him and gave him a watch.

 

Then I told everyone how Ronda and Mark had first met at work back in 2002, were definitely taken with each other, but neither was ready for a relationship. Ronda told me that she also fell for Mark's dog, Mulligan, and often dog-sat for him, which gave them an excuse to keep in touch outside the office. It was not until several years later that Mark approached Ronda agan. They were both amazed that their original feelings were still there. This time they were both ready and soon became a couple.  Last June, Mark proposed at work with two dozen roses and had Ronda's mother and her children there. What a romantic!

 Wrong hand, Ronda!!

 

Now for the family unity sand pouring where Mark and Ronda poured 1/2 of their sand in separately making 2 layers, then Julia and Jonathan poured theirs in making 4 layers. The fifth layer was the blending of Mark and Ronda's sand symbolizing the union of this family who are so fortunate to have found each other and are so happy to officially be joined together.

 Pronouncement and kiss! (Look at the clock. We are right at 20 minutes!) 

 I introduced them as a family and they all 4 hugged before recessing out.

 Stepping out into their new life and their honeymoon to Cancun.

Bonnie and I congratulating each other on a great wedding well done! Thanks, Bonnie!

Relaxing in the board room before going out to take some photos. Everyone is glad the ceremony went so well and is behind them. It is time to celebrate!

Ronda and Mark, I could tell that the two of you simply adore each other. I know you are so happy together and Julia and Jonathan are two very lucky kids with you for parents. Thank you for choosing me to officiate for you; it was my honor! Let's not lose touch again! 

Beautiful Wedding for Nichole and Chris at the Stone Chapel!

Nichole and Chris live in Florida and contacted me way back in 2010 to officiate their wedding on May 19, 2012 at the Stone Chapel in Wake Forest. They are real planners and so wise to get started early to get their first choice of wedding vendors. Their reception was close by at Wakefield Plantation Golf Club, an elegant venue.  I was impressed at how thoroughly and carefully they thought of everything and made their dreams of a storybook wedding come true. I felt like I was marrying old friends because I had known them much longer than I get to know most couples. Finally the big day arrived! 

It was a lovely day that Saturday and the Stone Chapel was ready! It is an old historic chapel that is now used for weddings and other events. I have done many weddings here through the years.

Betsy Coley, photographer, had the bride and her bridesmaids outside for photos while the groom was sequestered inside the chapel.

Aaron Asbury and James Tigner from Island Sound DJ and Video were there capturing the wedding on video. 

Our wedding director was Megan McReynolds. I have known Megan for many years and occasionally we get to work together. She actually works at Chatham Hill Wineries where I have done a couple of weddings and offers her wedding services to brides who find her. She also makes stunning quilts! Megan is really good at all she does and it is fun to work with her. After the seating of the grandparents and parents, the bridesmaids and groomsmen entered then it was time for the flower girls.  The older one held a sign that said "Uncle Chris, Here Comes Your Girl!" (I know Nichole found that on Pinterest because I heard she was an avid "pinner" and so am I!) As the older flower girl sprinkled petals, the little one began to stop and pick up each petal. It was funny and finally Megan had to retrieve her and hand her over to her mother. I have learned that trying to rehearse little children is a futile task because when the church is filled with guests, it just is not the same as practicing with empty seats!

Nichole asked both her father and her stepfather to escort her in. They were both honored to do so.

 

 And here we go!

 

 

Chris and Nichole won a contest to have an original poem written for them. It was a perfect reading for their wedding and Chris' cousin, Kelsey, did a great job of presenting it.

It was time for their story. They met 5 1/2 years ago when Nichole got a job as hostess at Rooster's, a new restaurant in Charlotte, where Chris was a pastry chef. Their stations were near each other so they got to know each other which prompted Chris to ask Nichole out on a date. His only night off was one of Nichole's work nights so he bribed the other hostess to fill in for her by giving her $20 and free milkshakes for her and her boyfriend! That one date was all it took for these two to fall for each other. Eventually Chris' employment took him to Florida and Nichole followed.

Nichole told me that roosters remain special to them and they collect little figurines of roosters. They brought some to sit atop the envelope box!

Making their promises of marriage to each other and sealing them with their rings......

 

The big pronouncement of marriage, at last! 

 I try to get out from behind the couple for the kiss. They were fast! 

 

Congratulations, Nichole and Chris! You did it! I know you are so happy and so glad that the wedding came off just as planned, making all your hard work worth it! It was simply gorgeous! I wish you two all the best in life!